Saturday, January 30, 2010

Fairly Bookish, Bookishly Dull

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I am infamously addicted to books. My roommate used to be very upset with me being engrossed in some book, ignoring her presence entirely. She connived with the other girls and they tried ganging up on me to get me to stop. Then they just gave up, she got used to it and i was free to go zombie on them for hours again. So just like any other self professed lover of books i make it a point to visit the annual book fair in my city. It's almost a ritual. I visited this year's on Sunday. Much of it was deja vu. Same smells, same sights, same crowd. I
wandered quite purposelessly, wasn't hunting for anything particular. I followed my parents just like an obedient toddler, seeing what they wanted me to see. But it wasn't all dull. Mortification awaited me when my father led me to the NCERT bookstall, showing me the books i "hadn't read". He made a few loud observations as well...someone in the other end of the city might not have heard if they were showering at that time with their music system on full blast. The drive back home was long and urghh bumpy. My brother had got his headphones on and i resorted to exchanging smses with my friend. She wouldn't believe that i hadnt found a book to buy. Atypical, she wrote. That annoyed me so i spent rest of the journey, concentrating on not bumping my head and drowning myself in thoughts. The only thing that stops me from wearing a helmet when Papa drives, is that he might not take it too well. I was much amused by a recent newspap
er report about this supposedly dead man in one of the villages in Bengal. En route to the burning ghats, he sat up, asking the pallbearers for water. He was much angry at his son for all the fuss. It cracked me up as i played numerous versions of it in my mind. I was really tired when we finally reached home, and then Papa informed us that we would have to go with him on the doctor's club picnic with family(I say informed, well he actually had posed it as a question creating the illusion of a choice, but there was no opting out )
Ah PICNIC- such a silly, funny little word. Lunch baskets, mats, badminton rackets, a mild Jan afternoon, an idyllic setting, and people.Picnics are much too contrived to be any fun. So we reach there(after another bumpy ride and my father nudging me to concentrate on the route) and Papa introduces and i hear my brother and myself mumbling shy namasteys and stuff. When i was younger, i used to find it difficult to namaste people i hardly knew, with age hypocrisy becomes easier to
adapt to. The place was a splendid village, a beautiful afternoon straight out of a Jane Austen novel. There also was a Snake House,the "vishesh akorshon(special attraction)". After the namasteys and fake smiles, we entered their abode, more like invaded their listless afternoon. They all looked stoned, perhaps they had a
rave at night.Some hissed at the guide, who was picking them up with a large rod, forcing the otherwise uninterested reptiles to show some sign of movement. I was thinking of course of Harry Potter and the Philsopher's Stone, but the Brazilian Boa Constrictor was not in the house and the other snakes were not well versed in Parseltongue.I didn't miss the irony- the inmates of the "house" caged while the "intruders" moved about leisurely. The funny thing was that the Snakes were sharing their apartments with birds. They had separate rooms of course. It was the first time that I had seen love birds.
They were pretty. But i liked the blue finch better. I also saw a Turkey(pic on the left) for the first time. He was a show off through and through. My brother wondered aloud how people could eat the bird. I was pretty clueless myself. As we took their leave, i had little inkling that the best part of the day was over. The spot that had been chosen for the picnic was a lovely garden. Not very ostentatious or exotic, kinda just right. I would have loved to just lie there with headphones in my ears and a P G Wodehouse infront of my nose but there wasn''t much chance of that happening. So instead i found myself miserably trying to hit a plastic cock, against the wind while my brother kept smashing it mercilessly at the other end. There also was an exclusive ladies special round of musical chairs, unique in that, at times everyone stopped moving altogether. The "gents" had a football match. The duration in commensurate with their stamina was decided to be of fifteen minutes. Uncoordinated was the buzz word. Most members of the "gents" teams looked like they had a football tucked under their tee shirts(it was hard to tell whether they were playing in two teams, cause everybody was aiming for the same goal post) but i hadn't seen such energy in my father. He looked so alien in a football field, his face flushed with energy. It's funny how we can't see our parents to be anything other than our parents. After the match one of the kids sneaked off the microphone and started singing songs from behind a tree. That sort of inspired the other kids as well and they all took turns to singing. The sort of thing we were supposed to go all awww and ooooh and aaaaah and hahaha about. Only i couldn't. Croaky children with microphone is a bad idea. After that, we had run out of things to amuse ourselves with. The we being the "family". The doctors had a booze party going on side by side. No boredom there. The remaining hours were excruciatingly long and slow. The aunties were having the same oft repeated conversation i have grown up hearing. My brother, my sole source of entertainment failed me too. It took too long for the thing to come to an end, too long to reach home and too long for me to write about. The good thing about the Sunday- Federer won the Australian Open in straight sets. Yay!











Monday, January 25, 2010

Hateful things

The more things change the more they remain the same, the saying goes. More or less a cliche but its realization never ceases to surprise me nonetheless. So when today I stumbled upon "The Pillowbook", I found myself grinning. In the year 999, the same date today, a lady called Sei Shonagan was probably sitting in her bed too, scratching her notebook with a quill, recording her memoirs and observations. Complaining about this and that. I was really amused to read her list of "Hateful things" and was inspired to compose my own(hehe! it was fun)

Men peeing in public. It makes me wanna shut myself in my room forever and never get out at all. Not even when i run out of conditioner. It immediately fills me with disgust. I hate it. It's even worse than people digging their noses in public. YUCK YUCK YUCK!

Mosquitoes(this was in Sei's list too :-D). But really they still do come to me with their awfully pitched serenades only when I am about to sleep.....A millenium has passed. They are still despicable.

It's cold and I am in a warm quilt, reading a novel to beat all novels, completely engrossed in the story and then someone will have to knock on your door. I ignore them at first, but they will keep you knocking till I get out of that heavenly, warm quilt and well open the door....and then they want help in doing something really mundane. Abominable

I am in college, chilling with my friends and a guy passes by who I am not much acquainted with and then one of the friends start telling about how great and rich and pretty and open his girlfriend(who you know nothing about) is. That makes me want to roll my eyeballs off.


I am downstairs, I hear my phone ringing upstairs, I hurry upstairs and it turns out to be one of those "prerecorded" messages from your service provider. Instant hatred.

I am standing in a local train for a long time in a passage. Another lady boards at some station asks every passenger where they will get down and books a seat for herself. I am half irritated at myself for not doing the same thing.

People I am trying to avoid and who know this because I have made it obvious to the point of being rude finding ways to place themselves in my proximity, overhear your conversation with your group and butt in the conversation and talking to everyone in the group except me.

A visitor arriving just when my favorite show is about to start, sitting in the living room, not speaking much, staying only as long as the show would last and promptly leaving when the hour passes.


This happened a lot last year when after squandering almost the whole day I would finally sit down with the books and a dear friend would call making me squander further and on hanging up i would find my studying enthu all gone.


Wailing babies.....ah! they cease to be cute when they are screaming at the top of their lungs on a hot day in a jam packed local train.


Drunkards...they stand in the middle of the streets and they hurl abuses left right and centre. Ugly. Even those over smart dharti pe bojh guys who can't keep their mouth shut when a girl passes by for that matter. Uglier cause they are sober.


speaking of ugly....
Rakhi Sawant.



I guess I will keep adding more as they occur to me. Lol! And i used to think that i am not a person to nurse grudges.








Friday, January 22, 2010

Reclaiming Life

A rejection always leaves a bad taste in mouth(Yuck!). In none of my narcissistic sugary B school day dreams did I ever think of the red line of pseudo-regret: you haven't been short listed. We wish u luck with your other endeavors. It is like being dumped( It's just not working between us...I hope u understand. It's not you it's me) They should have been more creative and honest.Like "you think you're good enuf for our Bschool, OUR bschool....HA!"A funny pill would have gone down my throat easily.

Anyways so that was one...i guess there are more rejection letters to come. Now is the time to grow philosophical wings. It's unfair how the things that you don't want keep dropping in your lap easily and frequently...while your true desires remain elusive(God's idea of humor maybe). I have never worried about any particular year much. But this year well is getting on my nerves already! It's so painful to "just miss" the mark. Neither here nor there. This sense of Unbelonging- it just gets stronger and stronger everyday. I feel like running. May be i will go for a run this evening. So much for the "universe conspires" theory! I just think i will go back to stuff I liked doing....instead of coming up with ways to market myself. Sheesh!

Meanwhile a good thing has happened too :-D. I am getting readers now. It's a great feeling seeing a comment. For a year i just wrote without bothering much about traffic or followers or comments. But now that i see people actually finding it worthwhile to spend time here...it's a pretty cool feeling. It's nice to see ya people. Keep em comments coming!


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Wrath of a Goddess

Today is Do-Not-Disturb-Your-Books-Or-Else-Face-Divine-Wrath day or as we say in Hindi , Saraswati Puja. I am not religious much but my superstitions get the better of me all the time. So with 2010 being my year of results, I am striving hard to be on the right side of the Divine power.
The good thing about the once a year Pujas is that they are once-a-year, easily adjustable. The Punditji, who acts as the interpreter between me and Mother Knowledge was actually more of a Pundit intern. Not a handsome intern though, which was a good thing! So we sat there...invoked Lord Ganesha, invoked the nine planets, invoked Vishnu, Shankar and all. This kinda clearance is necessary cause you gotta make sure that you don't offend the Big Guys. The rituals are quite simple actually, you invite your guest, run her a bath, present her with new clothes, perfume, flowers, then you offer her refreshments, water, compliment her a lot, greet her and thank her...

I wonder why Saraswati Ma takes offence to people picking up books to read and not to the glaring speakers. Talk about the convenience factor in religion, Ha!


Monday, January 18, 2010

Empire Of the Sun

There is something moving, something really inspiring about the human spirit- when it is in its indomitable form and something truly horrifying about the absence of it.

My Monday afternoon would have been sluggish, but for Jim who granted me the vicarious thrill of living as we are meant to. He dint see the Japs as enemies, he was fascinated with fighter planes and he enjoyed his life at the camp learning from the "University of Life". A great story with great moments.......




Tuesday, January 12, 2010

System Resume

Wow! i am finally done with all the management entrance tests. One would have thought that i would now get a chance to put my feet up...not happening!
January is still not over and i have already taken two tests(one horrible, the other was appetizing) and even given a job interview.
Looking back at the day of counseling, when i chose to condemn myself to four years of captivity in the school of uncool, i wonder what inspired me to take that decision. Ah! Campus Placements. That was what all engineering was about. A comfortable job in a snazzy IT company. Then Recession happened. Anyways 2010 came with the news of placements. It all happened too fast. Our college had arranged pre-placement trainings. HA HA HA. So i travel for three hours and reach No man's land and get a careless apology by the trainer guy that he had an "important meeting". Of course he had. No time for lesser mortals. Seething, fuming I came back pledging never to attend another one of his "enlightening sessions". I instead spent my time buying classy interview formals and getting a new hair cut in one of those overpriced Salons. Much better use of time and much more rewarding. Making my resume was mortifying.....

Objectives
er..........ummmm...........well...........ahem

Education
attended school
they kicked me out with avg grades
attended college
they will kick me out with avg grades

Accomplishments
  1. managed to keep myself alive for 21 years
  2. have survived on junk food for three years
  3. am taller than 90 percent of the guys in my class ;-)
Interests
novels, movies, music (what else has meaning in this world!)

Skills
  1. procrastinating
  2. cooking up excuses
  3. dozing off during lectures(certified)
Well it was disastrous so i had to ahem paraphrase. That was done. Next on my checklist was "mugging up" basically i had to mug up everything i had studied (or was supposed to anyway) in a span of 1 and a half day. It was impossible but that made it fun actually(it dint happen but well something's better than nothing).
I reached the venue on "THE APTITUDE TEST DAY" looked at the rest of em, realized i was overdressed(Shit!). There was a lot of staring and pointing. Mortification Rehashed. After that there was the aptitude test. The tension in the room was palpable. I was so relieved when my name wasn't called(they were calling out the names of the people who weren't selected). It wouldn't have gone down well with my suit. The next day was the interview.
Getting ready in two hours, traveled another three hours to reach the venue, waited three and a half hours for my turn. The interview lasted for exactly 10 minutes. I was stumped twice. Once when she asked why she should take me?(I dont know I wont take myself)
And again when she said Fountain Head is a bad novel (Lady! Are you a Mills and Boons fan?) Rest was plain technical stuff. They haven't still informed whether i am in. Well in or out, it was some experience. Lesson: no matter how prepared you are it is very hard not to be yourself.