Software and Shakespeare

3rd june, first sem paper:

I had studied a lot but there was way too much to remember in a day. quite naturally i goofed up some of the questions. Ain't expecting much. again, I dint listen to a hunch and regretted it. I do wish I had read SSADM better and reviewed the models. I don't know what's the purpose of all these examinations, i learn nothing, i gain nothing and i don't feel like a software engineer at all. To think of it, it was a very honest paper. And I am not alluding to dishonest means( I did take a glance at foolan's spiral model ).As i was writing the paper i was trying to fool the examiner actually. Pretending i knew more than i actually did. And it couldn't reflect my life any better. That's what i have been doing all this time. Pretending to know more, while not knowing. My purpose not being knowledge, but the appreciation. And the funniest part is that the appreciation never comes- never from the quarters i expect, nay demand(silently so).It is not such a nice feeling to know bout yourself. But then maybe it is not such a bad thing after all. I am not sure. But as i enter into my 20th year a few days from now i believe i will stop being a poseur for good. Shakespeare..ah i came back from college and watched Shakespeare in love and now i am wondering why i liked it. It reminded me of something a friend of mine had said once about getting girls. He had said that literature was the easiest way to gain favours. I suppose its because it addresses those fantasies which we breed in our mind all the time. The movie was certainly worth watching-i was seriously impressed by the queen. But the love part of it ...ah well dint touch me. It was fodoo's bday so i had to wake up at 12 and now i can't find sleep. So i thought may be getting some baggage off my mind would help. Monu's call had perturbed me a bit. The pressure to qualify for the haloed institutes is building up everyday. The mystery is set to be revealed in december. I hope to escape the gallows. This is the high point of my life's story. From here the plot can go anywhere and it is unnerving. I guess that explains my insomnia now. Ah! its 2: 24 and i must find rest. I have a paper to prepare for.